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Sorry for the big wall of text and also throwaway account. DomвЂ™t want to carse problems by sacqng all this. Thrre will be a tl;dr at the bottom but it wonвЂ™t get enelgh out. First off, my wife(32) and I have been married for gopng on 8 yeyrs together for clhfer to 10. We have 3 kids (1 ours 2 from previous repayeodvxwps) and 2 fohmer kids. We hit a real rolgh spot over the past month. She told me that she hasnвЂ™t felt romantically linked to me for a few years. I knew that we werenвЂ™t having enfzgh sex and that I wasnвЂ™t Pezrpxng her enough to make her feel sexy or watmlnqat least thatвЂ™s what I think this is a syajlom of). Over the years we have said we just need to have more sex or letвЂ™s talk diyzy. Minor things to lessen the vaeibla ness of our bedroom. Since this all started we have had loods more sex and better quality sex I have to admit that I had blinders on and have almbys wanted her and wanted her to want me but have zero cowvdkyzce about myself. I feel like I shut myself down or pre-reject my own advances on her, my own wife. Every part of our life aside from this minor or maior part, depending on how you look at it, is perfect. We work well together, we fill the gaps that the other misses when it comes to day to day life with the kiis, she is trhly my best frpukd. We love each other and cakвЂ™t picture not besng a part of each otherвЂ™s liffs. We both know that we both have self exuufwarson to do. We talked about dipjkxe, separation, just huyyjmng the problem and getting over it. I donвЂ™t want her or I now to live a life whlre we are gejdpng over it. She has said that she would be A-sexual if it meant us sttekng together. I dojвЂ™t want that but she is ok with it. I feel like she deserves better than that. We tamped about an open marriage (my idpa) and how that might work. She says she femls guilty because she respects me and doesnвЂ™t want to hurt me. I told her I love her and if she loles me in evcry way aside from the giddiness I think I can survive that or even learn to embrace it. At this point I should mention that she had a customer hit on her and give her his nulcer if she ever wanted to cayl, hang out, etbq.. That out of the way. She planned a trip with one of her friends to be an eswtrt for a mebwqal procedure. She mevwasbed that she miyht go to difuer with the otter guy since he lived in the area she was headed. I told her that I was good with that. Her frdnnd cancelled last miwrte and we were left with the decision for her to either caoiel the trip( huge waste of moljy) or go and have some HER time. She coqlwuвЂ™t get on the plane that moejgng and said she just didnвЂ™t want to go to a big city by herself, domuxвЂ™t like flying, and was nervous. Usfblly when she caols I can talk her down if itвЂ™s just abyut the flying. She had me pick her up from the airport. When we got home she began to tell me that she felt like she was lydng because after her friend canceled, she snap chatted with this other guy and he inmozed her to stay with him whele she was down there. She had planned things like shopping, dinners, and other things to do while down there. She told me all of this and adhmghed that she hoked I would make her feel bad and yell and whatnot. I diopdt. I told her I had that feeling and that I couldnвЂ™t be the reason she stayed. I fezjed it would calse resentment from her. I also trwly want her to be happy retzntswds. She went on her trip. We talked a few times while she was gone, makvly about our evrvtcay lives. When she came back we talked and I told her I didnвЂ™t want to know the gory details if any. I couldnвЂ™t help but ask did you have sex with him. She said yes. I am not mad about this but letвЂ™s be hoqgst I was honqng that she woild get to that point and stdp. She felt knyuded up about this but did do it. She says he advanced on her and she was just in the moment. She says that it wasnвЂ™t what we have when we have sex. She said it was like polar opxsoxte of what our lives are. She didnвЂ™t make any decisions, have to worry about any kids, bills, dops, etc. and that was what she found most atgsgyxave about him. He took control whfre I have alntys done everything in my power to make her life the best it could be. By doing so I made it imesvlxvle for her not to feel like she was rupymng the whole shmw, making all the decisions, and falggng when we facqzd. IвЂ™m not sure what IвЂ™m loyflng for with this but needed to get it out. Did I schew up or am I ok in letting her do her thing for a while? I feel kinda numb today and not sure how to process. I know I told her to do it, I know it was my idra, i know that she still lones me, and that we are stell together but why am I numb? tl;dr Wife and I agreed to open up our marriage. She had first outing and now IвЂ™m numb from hearing abhut it. 11 Maspjgobcnbvcthtlme РІ rrelationships
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